When you’re feeling nervous, anxious, and worried, it’s important to remember that there are several effective ways you can calm your anxious mind. It’s also worth knowing that trying to fight or eliminate your anxious feelings can actually make them stronger. Instead, try some of the following strategies to help you manage those feelings:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: Start by acknowledging what you’re feeling. Rather than trying to suppress or ignore the anxiety, allow yourself to feel it. You can say to yourself “I hear and accept that you feel anxious”. This can soften the intensity of the feeling because you’re not in resistance. Simply noticing and naming your feelings can create a little bit of space between you and them.
- Use Mindful Breathing: Focus on your breath as a way to center yourself. When you feel anxious, you might be breathing shallowly, which can make things worse. Try a slow breathing technique, such as breathing in through your nose for a count of four, and out through your mouth for a count of six. Or you might try saying to yourself, “inhale, my friend; exhale, my friend” as you breathe. This technique helps to redirect your focus to the present moment and away from anxious thoughts.
- Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is about paying attention to the present moment without judgment. You could try a brief mindfulness exercise, paying attention to sensations in your body, your breath, or sounds around you. Observe your thoughts without getting caught up in them. You can simply notice them and let them pass, like clouds in the sky. You can also focus your attention on what you are doing rather than the stories your mind is telling you. If you notice a negative thought, say to yourself “I’m noticing I’m having the thought that…” then let it go.
- Challenge Anxious Thoughts: When you notice anxious thoughts, try questioning them. Ask yourself what evidence you have to support the anxious thoughts, and what evidence suggests that they are not completely true. Are you underestimating your ability to handle the situation? Try to reframe negative thoughts into more balanced or positive ones. For example, if you think “I am going to fail,” replace it with “I know I can do it,” or “I’ve coped with harder things before”.
- Label and Defuse from Thoughts: Instead of getting caught up in the content of your thoughts, try to see them for what they are – just thoughts. You can name your thoughts or thought patterns as a way to create distance between you and them. For example, you could call your inner critic “The Judge,” or your worrying thought pattern “The Storyteller”. You can also use metaphors, like saying that the “Radio Doom and Gloom” is on again. You can also preface statements with “I am having the thought that…” to help you to see that it is just a thought. This helps to reduce the power of the thoughts.
- Focus on Solutions: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, shift your focus from the problem to possible solutions. Instead of asking “why” you have a problem, focus on “how” you can improve the situation. What would you like to have instead of the problem? What would your ideal accomplishment be? This can help you move forward rather than getting stuck in worry.
- Use Positive Self-Talk: Replace negative self-statements with positive affirmations. This could be something like “I am becoming calmer with each breath” or “I am getting better at handling this feeling”. If you find that self-criticism is unhelpful, try thinking about how you would encourage a friend, and then use the same supportive language with yourself.
- Acceptance: Remember that it is okay to feel anxious sometimes, and that it is a normal human emotion. Try to accept your feelings without judgement. You can say to yourself “I am learning to hear and accept that you feel X”. You do not have to fight or control how you feel. Being willing to experience your feelings is a more helpful approach than trying to get rid of them.
- Engage in Activities you Enjoy: When you are feeling anxious it is important to keep doing things that you enjoy. This helps you to move toward what matters to you rather than staying focused on your anxiety. It also reminds you that you are more than your anxiety and that life can be fulfilling, despite having anxious thoughts and feelings.
Summary: When you feel nervous, anxious, or worried, it’s important not to fight those feelings. Instead, focus on what you can do to calm your anxious mind, such as using mindful breathing, practicing mindfulness, challenging negative thoughts, and accepting your feelings. These techniques can help you to manage the intensity of anxious feelings, and to move forward in a more positive way.
Tags: anxiety, mindfulness, breathing, self-talk, acceptance, defusion, solutions