What you need to know about Social Anxiety

Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is more than just shyness; it’s a persistent fear of being judged or evaluated negatively in social situations. People with social anxiety often experience intense discomfort, unease, and worry during social interactions. It’s important to recognise that this is a common experience, with many people seeking treatment for it. While some people feel anxious about specific situations, others may worry about a range of different issues.

Key Strategies for Overcoming Social Anxiety

Beating social anxiety involves a combination of understanding the condition and employing techniques to manage its symptoms. Here are some effective strategies:

1. Recognising and Challenging Negative Thoughts

• Identify negative thought patterns: Pay attention to the negative thoughts that come up before, during, or after social situations. These thoughts often involve assumptions about future negative outcomes and self-doubt.
• Question negative assumptions: Challenge these assumptions by asking yourself if they’re based on facts or fear. For example, instead of thinking “everyone will judge me,” consider if there’s any actual evidence of that.
• Reframe negative thoughts: Reframe negative thinking, focusing on positive aspects and alternative possibilities. Instead of focusing on the negative, consider how a social interaction might be a positive experience.

2. Exposure Techniques

• Identify avoided situations: Make a list of social situations that you tend to avoid.
• Create an exposure ladder: Rank these situations from the least anxiety-provoking to the most anxiety-provoking.
• Gradually expose yourself: Begin with the least anxiety-inducing situations and slowly work your way up, ensuring you feel able to cope before moving to the next step.
• Practice until anxiety decreases: Repeated exposure to feared situations can reduce your fear of them. When practising exposure, don’t try to reduce the anxiety, just keep practising until your anxiety ebbs.
• Engage fully: Avoid using safety behaviours such as staying on your phone, as this can prevent the anxiety from reducing. Instead, fully participate in the interaction.

3. Mindfulness and Shifting Focus

• Become aware of the present moment: Instead of getting caught up in thoughts about the past or future, focus on the present.
• Turn attention outward: Rather than focusing on your own thoughts and feelings, pay attention to your environment during social events.
• Practise mindfulness: Use techniques such as meditation, to become more aware of thoughts and feelings without judgement.
• Use mindfulness to create a space between your thoughts, feelings and reactions rather than as a technique to control your anxiety.
• Approach anxiety with openness: Rather than having a fixed idea about how a social interaction might play out, be open to different possibilities.

4. Acceptance and Self-Compassion

• Practise self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, rather than self-criticism.
• Accept imperfection: Forgive yourself for not being perfect and accept yourself in the present moment.
• Accept anxiety: Don’t try to fight against anxiety, but rather accept its presence as a natural part of the process.

5. Relaxation and Breathing Techniques

• Use relaxation techniques: Practise methods such as deep breathing or imagery to reduce stress and tension.
• Develop a calm anchor: Have a calming technique that you can use when feeling anxious.
• Practise conscious breathing: When you feel panicked or anxious, focus your attention on your breath.
• Slow your breathing: When you are feeling anxious, slow down, count to ten and focus on thinking clearly instead of reacting emotionally.

6. Acting in Line With Your Values

• Identify your values: Determine what’s truly important to you.
• Engage with your values: Engage in activities that align with your values, rather than letting anxiety control your behaviour.
• Let your values guide you: Rather than having anxiety be the driving force behind your choices, allow your values to lead.

7. Other Helpful Techniques

• Distraction: Engage in activities to distract you from overthinking, such as watching a film or working on a puzzle.
• Exaggeration: Try writing or talking about your fear using exaggerated emotions and words until it feels silly and causes you to disengage.
• Assertiveness: Learn assertive communication, to help voice your concerns peacefully.

Making Positive Changes

Overcoming social anxiety is a journey that involves facing fears and being open to change. Here are some steps that can help you make progress:

• Start with small steps: Begin by facing less-feared situations and gradually move on to situations that cause greater fear.
• Be willing to make mistakes: See mistakes as opportunities to learn and discover something new.
• Be patient with yourself: Overcoming social anxiety is a process that takes time, so be patient and persistent.
• Don’t compare yourself to others: Focus on your own progress and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem.
• Practice self-care: Take care of your physical and mental health by getting enough sleep, exercising, and eating well.
• Connect with others: Build supportive relationships with friends or family members.

When to Seek Additional Support

While these self-help strategies can be effective, there are times when seeking professional support is beneficial:

• When self-help techniques are not enough: If your anxiety is still significantly impacting your life, seek professional guidance.
• When anxiety interferes with your daily life: If your relationships, work, or overall well-being are being affected by anxiety.
• When you feel stuck: If you are unable to make progress on your own, a coach can provide additional support and tools.
• When you are experiencing other mental health concerns: If you’re also experiencing symptoms of depression or other anxiety disorders, professional guidance is helpful.
• If you feel your anxiety is difficult to work through by yourself: Asking for help can be an act of courage and compassion.

Summary

Overcoming social anxiety is possible through understanding and applying a range of strategies. These include challenging negative thoughts, gradually facing feared social situations, using mindfulness, practising self-compassion and relaxation techniques, acting in line with values, and using other helpful techniques such as distraction and exaggeration. Remember that progress may take time, and it is okay to seek professional support when needed. By being consistent with these methods and being kind to yourself, you can beat social anxiety and start living a more fulfilling life.