A social anxiety coach offers a distinct approach compared to traditional therapies, focusing on practical, present and future-oriented solutions rather than delving into the past. Here are some specific benefits that an anxious person is likely to experience:
- Focus on Strengths and Solutions: Unlike traditional therapies that often focus on deficits and problems, a social anxiety coach will focus on your existing strengths and resources. They will help you identify what is already working in your life and build on those successes, rather than focusing on what isn’t working. This approach helps to build a sense of competence and self-efficacy. For example, if you’ve managed to attend a small social gathering despite your anxiety, the coach would explore how you managed to do that and how you could replicate that success.
- Future-Oriented Approach: Traditional therapies tend to be past and problem-focused, whereas social anxiety coaching is future- and solution-focused. Instead of exploring the root causes of your anxiety, a coach will help you to envision your preferred future and work towards it. This involves setting clear, positive, and realistic goals for how you want your life to be, both in general and in specific social situations. For instance, instead of analysing why you fear public speaking, the coach would ask what your life would look like when you are confident speaking in public.
- Emphasis on Positive Emotions: While traditional therapies often aim to reduce negative emotions, a social anxiety coach will focus on increasing positive emotions. This is achieved through various means, such as celebrating successes, asking about previous times of competence, and using future-oriented techniques. The coach would ask questions such as “How will you celebrate your victory over anxiety?”.
- Collaborative Partnership: Coaching promotes a collaborative relationship where you and the coach are seen as co-experts. The coach doesn’t see themself as the sole expert who has all the answers. Instead, they view you as the expert in your own life, guiding you with questions and helping you identify your own solutions. This approach fosters a sense of agency and control. For example, the coach might ask, “What qualities would your ideal therapist have, and what would he or she do?”.
- Action-Oriented: Coaching is highly action-oriented, focusing on what you can do to change your situation rather than spending a lot of time analysing the problem. The emphasis is on taking small, manageable steps towards your goals. A coach will help you define specific actions you can take and encourage you to experiment in social settings. This approach promotes accountability and encourages clients to take responsibility for their own progress.
- Individualised Goals: Rather than a one-size-fits-all approach, coaching focuses on individualised goals. The coach will ask you what you want to have instead of anxiety and what differences it will make to your life. They will help you to work towards your own specific needs and desires and help you to discover a life worth living.
- Client-Led: In coaching, you define the end of treatment. You are in the driver’s seat, and you decide when you are ready to conclude the coaching process. This approach supports autonomy and self-determination. The coach works with you, helping you to achieve your goals, but the goals are decided by you.
- Acceptance of Anxiety: Coaching can help you to understand that anxiety is a normal human emotion and to accept its presence without trying to eliminate it completely. The focus is on learning to live alongside anxiety without letting it control your life. In contrast to some approaches that focus on symptom reduction, a coach will help you to recognise how your anxiety has become a problem for you and to learn new ways of responding to it.
What Clients are Likely to Experience and Gain
Clients working with a social anxiety coach are likely to experience significant positive changes:
- Increased Confidence and Self-Efficacy: By focusing on your strengths, past successes and taking small steps forward, you will feel more confident in your ability to handle social situations and achieve your goals. You will start to believe that you have the skills and resources you need.
- Greater Psychological Flexibility: Coaching can help you become more flexible in your responses to anxiety. Rather than avoiding situations that make you anxious, you will learn how to approach them with acceptance and openness.
- Reduced Avoidance: You will begin to identify the situations you’ve been avoiding and develop strategies to engage in them. This is important because avoidance only serves to make anxiety worse. For example, you might start by simply imagining being in a social situation and then gradually work your way up to being present in the real-life situation.
- Improved Coping Skills: Through the practical strategies provided by the coach, you will learn new and effective ways of coping with your anxiety. You’ll have a toolkit of techniques that you can use to manage anxiety in the moment and in the long term.
- A More Meaningful Life: By exploring your values and what truly matters to you, you will learn to live a life that is rich and fulfilling, even when anxiety is present. This will involve identifying what is important to you and taking steps to live in accordance with those values.
- A Change of Perspective: You will learn to think about anxiety in a different way. Instead of seeing it as a sign of weakness, you will learn to see it as a normal human experience. You might even start to see the positive side of anxiety, viewing it as a sign that you care.
- Improved Social Interactions: As your anxiety reduces, you will become more comfortable in social situations and experience greater success in your interactions with others. You will feel less fearful and more at ease in social settings.
- A sense of Hope: You will begin to see a future where anxiety has less of an impact on your life and develop a sense of optimism that change is possible.
While traditional therapies can also be beneficial, there are some key distinctions that may make coaching a more suitable approach for some individuals with social anxiety:
- Focus: Coaching focuses on solutions, while traditional therapies may focus more on problems.
- Timeframe: Coaching tends to be short-term and action-oriented, while traditional therapy can be long-term and delve into the past.
- Expertise: In coaching, the client is seen as the expert on their own life, while in traditional therapy, the therapist may be seen as the expert.
- Language: Coaching uses positive language, while therapy might focus more on pathology or negative emotions.
- Goals: Coaching aims to help the client achieve their individual goals, while therapy may aim to diagnose and treat symptoms.
- Medical vs Non Medical: Coaching uses a non medical model and refers to clients, while therapy uses a medical model and may refer to patients.
- Approach: Coaching may be more suitable for clients who want a future-oriented, solution-focused and collaborative approach, while therapy may be better for those who wish to understand the roots of their anxiety in the past.
In summary, working with a social anxiety coach can be a transformative experience that empowers you to overcome the limitations imposed by anxiety and live a fuller, more confident life. By focusing on your strengths, creating a vision for your future, and learning practical skills, you can start to experience meaningful changes in your life. While traditional therapies may be appropriate for some individuals, a coaching approach provides an alternative, offering a different set of tools, techniques, and perspectives.