Overcoming social anxiety involves a variety of techniques and approaches, with the understanding that it’s a common challenge, not a personal failing. Many of the methods aim to help you understand and manage your reactions to social situations, as well as to challenge negative thoughts and beliefs.
Some key strategies to help beat social anxiety include:
- Understanding anxiety: Recognise that anxiety is a natural response, and in some circumstances can be helpful. It becomes problematic when it’s constant and overwhelming. Understanding the specific triggers, situations, and physical or mental reactions you experience when feeling anxious can be a crucial first step. Acknowledging that your anxiety may stem from the fear of judgement and embarrassment is also important.
- Mindfulness and Acceptance: Mindfulness encourages you to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgement, which can help to reduce the power they have over you. The goal is not to get rid of anxiety but rather to create a life worth living even with the presence of some anxiety. By accepting the emotions, thoughts, and sensations that come with anxiety, you can learn to manage the physical symptoms.
- Exposure: Gradually exposing yourself to feared social situations can help reduce the anxiety associated with them. The idea is to approach difficult situations rather than avoiding or escaping them, and not to try to reduce the anxiety in any way, for example, through breathing or relaxation techniques, but instead to just keep practicing the feared activity. When practicing exposure, it may be helpful to start with less-feared situations and then move to situations that cause more anxiety. Over time, this can help you become more comfortable with social interactions and reduce your anxiety.
- Challenging Negative Thoughts: Recognise and dispute unhelpful or negative beliefs that fuel social anxiety. This includes being aware of common thinking errors, as well as identifying false beliefs about yourself and others. It may be helpful to use tools to journal your experiences in order to track your progress.
- Self-compassion: Treating yourself with kindness and compassion is an important part of managing anxiety. Rather than criticising yourself, it’s important to acknowledge that you are worthy, and that all feelings are valid.
- Shifting focus: When experiencing anxiety, it can be useful to shift your focus to something else. For example, distraction and temporary solutions such as watching a film, completing a puzzle or socialising with friends may help in the moment.
- Changing your reactions: Pay attention to your responses in social situations and look for ways you can change those reactions, such as through direct experience of the situation.
- Setting boundaries: Learning how to set boundaries can be important for managing anxiety.
- Practicing positive behaviours: These may include developing assertive communication, finding confident role models, practicing confident body language, and socialising as often as possible.
- Relaxation techniques: Learning how to relax can help you control oversensitivity and manage the physical symptoms of anxiety.
- Self-care: Prioritising sleep, exercise, and relaxation is essential for reducing emotional arousal and stress levels, which can help with anxiety.
It is important to remember that recovery from social anxiety may take time, and requires consistency in applying new techniques. It’s not about becoming perfect, but rather about learning to live with some level of discomfort, as you work towards your goals.
Summary: Beating social anxiety involves a combination of understanding what causes it, managing reactions, accepting discomfort, and changing the thought patterns and behaviours associated with social anxiety. Key strategies include practising mindfulness, gradually exposing yourself to feared situations, challenging negative thoughts, showing yourself compassion, shifting your focus and setting boundaries. Practicing positive behaviours and relaxation techniques and taking care of yourself are all crucial steps to take towards overcoming social anxiety.