Habits are fundamental to how we navigate the world, forming the patterns that shape our daily lives. Both wanted and unwanted behaviours become habitual, influencing our actions, thoughts, and feelings. Learning to understand and change unwanted habits is a powerful pathway to greater mental freedom and overall well-being. This process involves recognising automatic patterns, particularly those that perpetuate anxiety or distress, and actively cultivating new ways of responding that align with what is truly important.
Dealing with unwanted habits, especially those linked to anxiety, is not about simply eliminating difficult thoughts or feelings. Instead, it’s about changing your relationship with these internal experiences and developing flexibility in how you respond to them. Many unhelpful habits involve efforts to control, suppress, or avoid discomfort. While these attempts may offer temporary relief, they often don’t work in the long term and can even make things worse, trapping you in unhelpful cycles.
Strategies for habit change aim to disrupt these unworkable patterns and build new habits that support a more flexible and value-driven life. Strategies for habit change.
Here are key components involved in changing habits to foster mental freedom:
1. Understanding the Nature of Habits and Their Role
- Automatic Patterns: Habits often function on autopilot, meaning they occur without much conscious thought. Identifying these automatic patterns is a crucial first step in changing them.
- Habit Loops: Unwanted habits, like those associated with anxiety, can be understood in terms of triggers, behaviours, and results or rewards. Mapping out these loops – identifying what sets off the habit, the behaviour itself, and the consequence – increases awareness.
- Avoidance as a Habit: Many problematic habits are rooted in avoidance – avoiding uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, or situations. This avoidance can feel like an addiction.
2. Strategies for Changing Habits
- Increasing Awareness: Actively paying attention to your habit loops helps you see them clearly. This awareness can be cultivated through practices like journaling or self-monitoring, which provide a window into your daily experiences and patterns of inaction. Being honest with yourself is essential.
- Acceptance and Willingness: A core shift involves moving away from struggling to control or eliminate difficult internal experiences and towards accepting them. Acceptance is the opposite of control and involves choosing to experience discomfort when it arises without trying to change it. Letting go of the struggle is a fundamentally different approach that can lead to freedom.
- Defusion (Changing Your Relationship with Thoughts): Learning to see thoughts as just thoughts, rather than literal truths you must act on, is vital. This involves observing anxious thoughts without getting entangled in them and recognising that you can’t permanently stop unwanted thoughts. The label “thinking” can become a code word for seeing “just what is”.
- Mindfulness: Practising paying attention to the present moment, without judgment, helps you become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations as they occur. Mindfulness allows you to stay grounded and observe your internal landscape. This can be done through formal exercises or simply by checking in with yourself throughout the day.
- Confronting Avoidance (Exposure): Deliberately and willingly putting yourself in situations you have been avoiding because they trigger anxiety is a powerful way to change your response patterns. By facing fears, you learn that you can handle the discomfort, testing your anxious predictions. Exposure is typically approached gradually and should be linked to your values. Willingness to experience anxiety in these situations is key.
- Identifying Values and Setting Goals: Getting clear on what truly matters to you – your core values in different areas of life – provides direction and motivation for change. Setting well-defined goals based on these values helps structure your efforts and makes explicit what you are working towards. Actions should be consistent with these values.
- Committed Action: Changing habits requires taking action, not just understanding the problem. It involves making a commitment to new ways of behaving and consistently putting those commitments into action, even when it’s difficult. If you break a commitment, the important thing is to recommit and get back on your chosen path. Experiential exercises outside of formal sessions are a major component, providing opportunities to practise new ways of responding in daily life. These exercises are most effective when perceived as freely chosen and consistent with what matters.
- Practical Support Strategies:
- Assertiveness: Learning to express yourself directly and set healthy boundaries can reduce triggers for anxiety.
- Lifestyle Changes: Practices like breathing exercises, relaxation techniques, regular exercise, healthy diet choices, and sufficient sleep can support your ability to manage discomfort and promote overall well-being.
- Conscious Questioning: Asking yourself questions about your thoughts and beliefs can help clarify and reframe them.
- Self-Compassion: Being kind, patient, and compassionate towards yourself, especially when facing difficulties or setbacks, is crucial. Accepting yourself is changing yourself. Trying to “fix” yourself implies struggle and self-denigration.
3. How Habit Change Leads to Mental Freedom
Mental freedom is cultivated when you gain flexibility and choice in how you respond to your internal experiences and the world around you. By changing unwanted habits of struggling with or avoiding discomfort, and instead practising acceptance, defusion, and mindfulness, you undermine rigidity and foster psychological flexibility.
This shift allows you to become less owned by your anxious thoughts and feelings. Instead of being controlled by the “programming” of your mind that says “Go south or else!”, you can choose to head “north” – towards what matters – even while the uncomfortable thoughts are still present. This is a moment of choice, personal responsibility, and courage. You become response-able to do what matters most to you. The effort previously spent battling or avoiding anxiety is now available to pursue a valued life.
4. Long-Term Benefits of Developing Mental Freedom
Cultivating mental freedom through habit change has profound long-term benefits:
- Reduced Suffering and Struggle: By giving up the unworkable battle against your inner life, you significantly reduce unnecessary suffering. Non-acceptance and the struggle are what make anxiety disordered.
- Living a Fuller, Valued Life: The energy and time previously consumed by struggling become available to engage more fully in your life and move in directions aligned with your values. This allows you to spend your time doing what matters most.
- Increased Self-Efficacy and Confidence: Facing avoided situations and successfully navigating discomfort builds confidence in your ability to handle challenges.
- Improved Ability to Handle Setbacks: Learning to relate to difficulties with acceptance and self-compassion allows you to navigate setbacks without falling back into old unhelpful patterns. When you encounter challenges, you are better equipped to get back on track.
- Thriving: Moving beyond merely reducing symptoms, habit change focused on mental freedom enables you to thrive and live a healthier, longer, better, and fuller life.
- Permanent Change: While vigilance may always be needed, the goal is to achieve changes that are lasting, transforming maladaptive patterns into positive behaviours. Ultimately, the aim is to reach a point where healthier habits become automatic, requiring little effort.
Summary: strategies for habit change
Strategies for habit change, particularly when addressing anxiety, involve a fundamental shift away from trying to control or avoid uncomfortable internal experiences towards accepting them. This process is underpinned by understanding unwanted habits, such as avoidance, and their role in perpetuating distress. Key approaches include increasing awareness of habit patterns through techniques like mapping and journaling, cultivating acceptance and willingness to experience difficult thoughts and feelings, learning to defuse from unhelpful thinking patterns, and engaging in mindfulness to stay present. Critically, it involves confronting avoided situations (exposure) and taking committed action aligned with personal values and goals. Supportive strategies like assertiveness, healthy lifestyle choices, conscious questioning, and self-compassion are also important. By changing habits of struggle and avoidance and building new habits of acceptance and value-driven action, individuals gain greater psychological flexibility and choice, leading to mental freedom. This freedom allows them to live a life guided by what matters most, reducing suffering and struggle, increasing well-being, building confidence, navigating challenges effectively, and ultimately thriving.